I am 42 yrs old and I’ve been gay since I was about 7 yrs old. I have always felt like a pariah in the gay or straight communities. I didn’t act like a girl and wasn’t interested in hanging out with girls all the time.
I set at the “cool” table at school and I was popular! I wasn’t picked on nor was I asked about who I was attracted to, we just had fun! High-school was pretty great for me! I went around on the weekends to parties with the football players, rich kids, popular kids, cheerleaders, etc. So I was by no means an outcast!
When I started going to bars things changed, quickly! Every person there was so fake and I didn’t like doing what they wanted to do (drink, dance, scream like girls, giggle) so most of my time was spent at tha bar, drinking. Finally, I started dating a cop and he and I stayed together for about 8mths until I ran into his “only boyfriend”. I’m not one of those fools who stays and cries, that kind of uselessness.
All this time I just felt like something was incredibly wrong and I knew what I was doing was a sin. I would want sex until it happened and then I would feel dirty on the inside!
6yrs ago I got saved and I thought I would be made straight, but as so often, it didn’t happen. I would pray and pray for God to change me, especially after beginning to study the Scripture and it made it clear that same-sex is a sin! Not that I didn’t know before somehow!
People would tell me I was born that way and I needed to stop hating myself. The TRUTH is that we are all born sinners from the fall of Adam and Eve. When we are born the devil begins to influence our behavior and THAT IS HOW I WAS BORN GAY! God had nothing to do with it or if we are made gay by God then consider murderers, fornicators, thieves, liers, petophiles, raspiest, etc. are they to be excused because they were like that from when they were kids? God forbid!
I was living with a man that I considered my husband since we were together for 10 yrs and we both got saved at about the same time. At first he believed same-sex sex was wrong too but then after awhile he wanted to say we were born that way instead. We had stopped having sex for over 3 yrs but I considered us family. I was living close to God and while praying one night I told God that whatever it took I wanted to be closer to Him. Imagine my surprise when God asked me if I would love Him still if He made my partner leave! I thought about it for a few mins and said yes I would still love Him (GOD). It was not long after that that Brian met a guy and left.
I will be truthful here and say that it was horrible! I started hooking up with every guy I could until God brought me back to my senses and I replanted of my transgressions and started for praying for God to change me again! Now God is truly amazing and spoke to me and said what He told Paul that His Grace is sufficient for me and that His strength is made perfect in weakness.
This time I stopped praying for God to change me and that He instead help me be able to help others who were struggling with the same feelings. He did just that, doors were opened that wouldn’t and couldn’t unless God opened them.
Finally, about 7mnts ago I woke up like any other except, when I saw a man that before would have pumped me full of lust to the point that he would have been on my mind all day, I felt NOTHING nor do I feel it for women. However, the love inside of me for all people grew and grew! My soul concern now is to help people see how much they need salvation. When I pray I feel so unworthy of His blessings but then to have had Him touch me and release me from that splintered, heavy, cumbersome cross truly I still stand in awe!!
Hear me, PLEASE, homosexuality is not a gift from a Holy God it is a wicked trick of satan but The Lord has beaten satan and deliverance IS yours.
No doubt many that read this will despise me and hate me and while if I could I would let you experience it for a day! Many of you may pen disturbing letters to me or hate me enough to want me dead but I do not fear what man can do to me! I ask that God open your eyes and plant a seed in your heart. This I say because I love all of you: if you continue to live a homosexual lifestyle, dress like women, talk like women, etc you are going to HELL! IT’S THAT SIMPLE! Hell was not made for humans it was made for the devil and his angels! No a loving God will not send anyone there, YOU WILL SEND YOURSELF!
Remember God loves you but He hates the sin in your life and that can be removed if you humble your pride and repent for them and then study and live your life as close to the teachings of the Word,with all due haste, and give up that gay life, the lies, the fornication, the adulterey, the idolatry, etc.
!!TODAY IS THE DAY OF SALVATION!!